


Comeback (to me).

by Picturemedrowning



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Body Dysphoria, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, angsty porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Picturemedrowning/pseuds/Picturemedrowning
Summary: After injuring his knee, Seth returns with confidence issues. Dean does what he does best.
Relationships: Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Comeback (to me).

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through all my unfinished things and found this, decided to finish it.   
> It's been so long and I'm so rusty, but I hope you enjoy!   
> Set just after Seth came back from busting his knee, about a thousand years ago.
> 
> x

Dean wasn’t going to pretend he hadn’t been thinking about it, but when Seth called him after Battleground with the equivalent of a ‘u up?’ text, there was still a quick thrill of surprise and relief in his voice that made him feel a little stupid. And a little vulnerable.

‘I got nothin’ planned. Why?’

‘I don’t wanna overstep my boundaries or whatever-’ Seth sounded tentative and it didn’t suit him.

‘-Says Captain Boundary Overstepper.’

‘Dean.’

‘I’m listening.’

‘I don’t know if you’re with, her, you know, but if you’re free…’

Dean stared at his hotel room ceiling and hiked his vest up to scratch absently at his stomach. He was still in his ring gear. ‘You can say her name.’

‘You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be. Are you free or not?’

‘Yeah I’m free.’

‘Alright. What’s your room?’

‘128. I haven’t showered.’

‘’s okay. I’ll be there in a sec.’ Seth hung up and Dean let his phone fall onto his chest. Still after all this time, all this bullshit, it gave him butterflies. How pathetic.

And yeah, it had been a while. Six months had crawled out between them in a vast stretch of vague voicemails, half-assed check ins, words that didn’t really mean anything. Dean hadn’t travelled down to Iowa though he probably should have. A distraught and barely coping Seth was something he had no idea how to face and the thought of trying to console him in a way other than sucking his dick made Dean’s stomach turn.

He hadn’t forgiven Seth, not really, because some things you just can’t fix, but he was at peace with the progress they had made. It was delicate and fragile and held by a very fucking thin thread. But he’d be a dirty goddamn liar if he said he hadn’t been looking forward to Seth’s hands around his throat and hot, frantic breath at his ear, and in the few weeks since Seth had come back, he was doing a shameful job of hiding how impatient he was for it.

But the draft mere hours ago had splintered their reality. It felt like the end of something to Dean, though of course it wasn’t, there was a pit in his stomach with something seething and painful inside that felt a lot like loss. 

Dean got up to take the door off the latch then sunk back down on the mattress, lacing his fingers together behind his head. They had about two hours, which was nothing to shake a stick at but the whole thing was dicey. A little stupid, more than a little reckless. He heard the elevator doors slide open from down the hall, then soft footfalls, and his stomach twisted suddenly, a little spasm of nerves.

Seth seemed to take up the whole room. Hair up in a tight bun, gym shorts and a worn-out black band shirt, this was the version of him that Dean liked best. Off the clock, toned down, capable of a little more humanity and sincerity than his usual keyed-up, hyper aware self. But that didn’t mean his presence was any smaller; in fact it was just as commanding as ever and Dean watched him steadily, hungrily, as he closed the door and slipped off his shoes.

‘Hey,’ he murmured, tiny beginnings of a smile at his mouth.

Dean nodded at him. ‘That was fast.’

Seth huffed a laugh and padded over to the bed, swatting at the light switch on the wall as he went. The room sunk into soft shadow, just one warm lamp on above the bed.

‘Yeah. Well.’ Seth looked up at him and didn’t even have to say the rest, whatever it was, because Dean knew. _I missed you_ wouldn’t have cut it anyway. _I don’t want to lose you again_ would’ve been laughable.

He climbed onto the mattress, crawled hands and knees up Dean’s body and sat across his hips and for a second Dean couldn’t move, or speak, all he could do was look, and feel. And then Seth’s hands came to his belt and he jerked back to life, voice worrying up his throat like it didn’t belong there.

‘I’m real sweaty.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘Seth, can we-’ Dean unfolded his arms and grabbed at Seth’s wrists, holding him still. ‘Look at me.’

Seth’s eyes were dark and distracted and his hands fell limp in Dean’s grip.

‘Can we take it slow?’ He felt immeasurably stupid for asking, and he knew that he and Seth could fall back into this, something that never really had a name or purpose, in an instant and it would be perfect every time; but just once he wanted to indulge.

‘This isn’t fuckin’ date night, Dean.’

‘Yeah and it ain’t cum and run either. What, you got better places to be?’ He kept the question soft, in a pitch that would avoid Seth tightening up and turning this into some kind of hate-sex frustration-fest, which it had done many times before, or possibly just him leaving altogether-

‘I guess not.’

‘Alright then. Come here, you goddamn fun sponge, I wanna taste you.’ Dean tugged at Seth and after a few seconds of stony resistance, pulled him right down until their chests were touching. Dean kissed him deep and slow but never gentle, and he felt Seth melt into him. His mouth was hot and wet and he tasted of fruity sports drink and mouthwash. Dean had always teased him about his beard, said it was like making out with a broom head, but now he kinda liked the roughness of it.

Sure he wouldn’t bolt anymore, Dean released Seth’s wrists and let his hands span up over the solid curves of his arms. Braced at either side of Dean’s head the thickness of his biceps was almost too big for Dean’s palm. So his touch slid higher, across Seth’s shoulders to squeeze maybe a little greedily at the new muscle growth under the cotton of his shirt, delicately up the back of his neck and Seth shuddered above him. Dean threaded his fingers into Seth’s hair, rubbed his thumbs at the softness of Seth’s temples and pushed his tongue into Seth’s waiting mouth.

Dean didn’t love many things. Okay so he loved his job, and he loved his girlfriend probably – all things considered, but without a doubt he fucking _adored_ kissing Seth. He loved the sound he made when Dean bit down on his lip, he loved the way his hips twitched forward almost involuntarily, he loved the moans trapped in their mouths, he loved sharing the same air, he loved running his hands down Seth’s body and grabbing at his ass and-

Seth jerked away from him suddenly, looking flushed and unfocused. He twisted out of Dean’s reach and leant forward to kiss him again a few moments later, their bodies barely touching this time.

‘You okay?’ Dean murmured against Seth’s lips. Seth nodded, their foreheads pressed together.

‘Yeah, just my knee.’ The lie tumbled out of him so easily that Dean almost didn’t notice it. But his voice was barely a whisper; all hung up around his breath, trying hard to sound unaffected. Dean decided to let it slide.

‘You wanna swap?’ He offered.

‘Nah I’m good.’ Seth muttered into his mouth. He followed it with a sudden press of his tongue that made Dean sink back into the pillows and forget any kind of protest. Seth’s hips curled above him slowly but pointedly, a hard, curving flick that rubbed into Dean’s jeans, made to shut him up.

Except Dean was never that great at staying quiet, and sometimes he’d be so lecherous that Seth had to slap a hand over the whole bottom half of his face, fingers tight over Dean’s jaw; and Dean had a slightly hard time looking his reflection in the eye for a few days after but it was worth it to watch Seth blush and chew on his lip, his eyes going black and his body getting loose. If Dean was lucky maybe he’d even get a desperate little whine out of him, with his voice alone.

So he freed himself from Seth’s mouth and buried his face in the crook of Seth’s neck. Breathed in the smell of him, spicy fresh cologne and hotel shampoo, and let Seth grind filthily against him while he decided exactly how depraved he could be.

‘Did I tell you how fuckin’ good you look?’

‘Mmfff,’

Dean reached for Seth’s arms again, first just idle strokes, then trying to get his hands around the widest part of Seth’s bicep and failing. ‘You’re so big. I bet you could pick me up and fuck me against the wall real easy now.’

‘Uhh,’

‘I want you to put your hands on me and choke me when we’re fucking, I want you to show me how strong you got,’ Dean’s lips at Seth’s ear. ‘Fuck, take your shirt off, I wanna see,’ his fingers in the cotton pulling hurriedly at it, and when Seth sat up Dean followed, hungry, insatiable, dying to get his mouth on some skin. 

He didn’t realise Seth was fighting him for a good few seconds.

‘Wait, Dean, wait-’

Dean backed off, his hands still tight in Seth’s shirt, panting a little. ‘Something wrong?’

Seth was shrinking away, turning one shoulder then the other to get out of Dean’s grip.

‘Just let me keep this on, okay?’

Dean blinked at him. ‘Huh?’

Seth was uncomfortable, Dean could tell. His shoulders were hunched and tight and his mouth was a downturned line. They were never this way together. ‘Its fucking stupid, I know. Just, let me keep it on?’

‘Why?’

Seth looked away and shrugged noncommittally. ‘I just don’t feel good.’

‘What, like you’re sick? ‘Cause I think that means I’m infected now so-’

‘No, I’m not sick.’

Dean slumped back onto his elbows. ‘You hurt yourself out there tonight?’

Seth dropped his head. ‘No nothing like that. It’s not that kinda feeling.’

Dean studied him for a few moments until realisation slowly seeped its way into his lust-fogged head. ‘You turned the light off.’

‘What?'

‘When you came in here, you switched off the lights.’

‘So?’

‘You never do that.’

‘That doesn’t mean-’

Dean touched Seth’s thigh lightly, just rested his hand there for a moment, and it cut Seth’s words off in his mouth.

‘Are you seriously not gonna tell me?’ Dean asked flatly. Seth sighed and glanced quickly at the ceiling, eyes scanning around the room, restless.

‘I feel gross, okay?’

Dean felt his eyebrows go up and fought the urge to start making jokes. ‘Gross?’

‘Yeah. I don’t know…’

‘God this is like pulling teeth. The hell got into you?’ Dean skimmed his fingers under the stretchy loose fabric of Seth’s shorts right up to the edge of his boxers. He felt the muscle twitch a little under his hand. Seth was hard, and Dean was having trouble understanding why they had swapped kissing for this.

‘I feel like such a dumbass.’ Seth muttered, finally settling his focus on his lap where his fingers were playing idly with a thread on the zip of Dean’s jeans. It was making it hard to focus.

‘And now he realises…’ Dean teased.

‘Okay I’m just gonna say it. I got used to looking… a certain way. And I know I don’t look like that anymore and I can’t shake it and I feel fucking gross about it. I literally hate-’ he waved a hand vaguely at his torso - ‘this. And it’s nothing on you, I thought I’d be fine but I’m not… and I can’t really stand being looked at or _touched_ , like that right now. I just can’t deal.’

Seth looked up at him, solemn and embarrassed and somehow guilty at the same time and it nearly broke Dean’s heart in half.

‘You feel like this when we’re on TV?’ was all he could manage. Flashes in his head of Seth throwing on a shirt as soon as he got backstage, flinging a towel over his locker room mirror.

Seth swallowed and looked back at his hands. ‘Yeah. No. I don’t know. I don’t care about other people. It’s different with you. I forgot you were so…’ he shrugged, apparently not able to say the word, whatever it had been. ‘And I look down at me and I’m… I don’t know, its dumb I’m sorry.’

‘It’s not dumb. Do you wanna stop? We can stop if you want.’ Dean said, hating how weak and disappointed he sounded.

Seth shook his head, a tiny but sure movement. ‘I waited six months for this. I need it.’

Maybe he had meant to say _you_ , _I need you_ , because Dean felt that too. Right in his heart he felt it. ‘Can I try something? Can I try to make you feel better?’

‘I guess.’

‘Okay. Up, come on, get up.’ Dean started shifting and shuffling under Seth who struggled sideways onto the bed, confusion pulling at his face.

‘Where are we going?’

Dean got to his feet and peeled off his socks, shook the buckle of his belt undone and stepped out of his jeans.

‘I told you, I didn’t shower yet. Come on. I’m gonna make you feel so good.’

He held his hand out for Seth who was now wearing a look of worry and suspicion. But the darkness had lifted from behind his eyes and as Dean pulled him up his face softened into something like a bemused smile.

He led Seth into the bathroom and turned on the shower. It was big, took up half the room, tiled on three sides with a glass door on the front. The sound of running water had always calmed Dean for as long as he could remember.

‘How the fuck is your bathroom better than mine?’ Seth mumbled, feigning a pouty frown.

‘Champ privileges.’ Dean said. He pulled his slightly sticky vest off over his head and dropped it on the floor. Seth was watching him, eyes sliding down his body and Dean pretended not to notice as he reached for the edge of Seth’s shirt. But he didn’t make it because Seth backed away a step, shaking his head.

‘I don’t-’

‘Okay, sure, sorry.’ Dean reached over to the wall and flicked the lights off, shoved the door with his foot so that it swung open and let in some light from the bedroom. When he moved in close to Seth again he couldn’t see much, but he could feel the heat trapped between them, bouncing from his own bare skin to Seth’s clothed body. Seth was motionless, tension coming off him just like the warmth as they stood toe to toe.

‘When you came back I noticed you looked different.’ Dean said quietly.

‘Dean you don’t have to-’

‘But I just thought you looked jacked as fuck, and I couldn’t wait to get you in my bed.’

Seth stayed quiet so Dean carried on, hands hanging by his sides burning to touch something. He hadn’t shown his kind of restraint probably ever and wanted to prove to Seth that he could do it. That he cared, despite everything. ‘I thought about you so much, every kind of way I wanted you. How I missed you. How I wanted to taste every inch of you, this strong, goddamn beautiful, hot as hell body. I never wanted anything so much in my life.’ He licked his lips, shifted his weight from one foot to the other. ‘I still want you. So much it actually kinda hurts, maybe even more now, and you know I’ll stand here in the dark all night if you want, hell I’ll do pretty much anything for you. But I won’t make another move until you ask me.’

Seth tipped his head forwards; let it rest on Dean’s shoulder. For a second he just breathed like he was working through it, all the twists and tangles of their relationship and whatever he was feeling in that moment, until it straightened out into something rational.

‘Okay.’

Dead slid his hands up the soft ridges of Seth’s ribs, fingers following every little dip of muscle and bone. He flattened his palms there and felt the rise and fall of his breathing, the thudding of his heart, and tried to tell himself that he didn’t have to rush it. Or couldn’t.

With Seth’s forehead still on his shoulder, Dean turned and pressed his mouth into his soft, dark hair. ‘You’re so fucking perfect to me.’

He felt something, maybe it was a smile on the edge of something else, a small breath of relief or panic or need, but Seth shook his head after it and his voice was whisper quiet when he spoke against Dean’s collarbone – ‘take me in the shower.’

Dean found the edge of Seth’s shirt and tugged it up slowly, the closest thing to gentle he was probably capable of. Seth stood there obediently and he let himself be undressed in the dark with the sound of pouring water around them and nothing else, until they were both naked. Dean’s heart was somewhere near his throat and it felt a lot like uncharted territory. Maybe it was. The space felt small and startlingly intimate.

Dean took a breath like a pause, like punctuation in a non-verbal conversation. He wanted this to be okay, he wanted Seth so badly it was making his stomach ache, but he was aware of being close to something new, something serious and hidden and real. This was so much more than a hook-up and it terrified him.

His palms ran over the warm, tense expanse of Seth’s bare chest and down over his arms, stopping at his knuckle.

He took Seth’s hands and pulled him into the shower.

The water was hot and loud and it must have drowned out what was left of Seth’s insecurities because as soon as Dean slid the door closed Seth pushed him back against the tiled wall and kissed him, hands framing his face, holding him there.

He shoved his body flat against Dean; their toes touching, thighs together, chests pressed tight. His tongue was in Dean’s mouth and Dean was starting to really feel those six long months that had dragged out impossibly slowly while Seth was gone, all the lost time catching up with them hard and fast.

His hands were everywhere on Seth like he was touching him for the first time, like he couldn’t get close enough. All that muscle and weight and mass shoved right up against him, hot and wet and for this small moment, totally _his_ ; it made him feel dizzy with longing.

He pushed Seth away with his forehead, ducked down and sucked a kiss into his neck, sunk down onto his knees, slowly, getting his mouth on as much of Seth as he could. He licked up over Seth’s hipbone when his knees hit the floor and Seth shuddered above him, twisted his hand into the back of Dean’s hair. It wasn’t like Dean really needed the guidance, but he liked the authority of it, and he opened his mouth willingly when Seth’s cock pushed against his lips.

He closed his eyes and held on, working his mouth slow and tight. Seth was panting, pushing himself right down almost to Dean’s throat with these tight little twitches and thrusts, pressing Dean back against the tiles and fucking into his mouth.

‘Fuck, you feel-’

Dean didn’t know what he felt like because Seth’s words were forced into a moan, a broken, fraught sound, like somehow Dean was _taking_ something from him. Dean squeezed at his thighs, down to his calves and back, all the way to his hips, still with his eyes shut and Seth filling his mouth. He choked, he couldn’t breathe, and it didn’t matter. He let Seth use him, tried to make his mouth remember the way Seth liked it, with a little resistance and a lot of spit. His throat opened up like muscle memory and he wasn’t fighting the gag reflex any more, he was just trying to make himself useful.

He touched himself, felt how wet he was. Jerked himself a few times and then had to stop because it was too fucking good. He moaned around Seth’s cock and put his hands on the tight firm curve of his ass, grabbed at it, tried to show him it was okay, that he could do whatever he wanted and Dean would take it.

But Seth’s hands pulled at his hair again, soft this time but insistent; so Dean dragged his mouth off Seth’s cock with a sucking sound and caught himself smiling filthily at it. He stood up on shaky legs and Seth’s gaze followed, sinking right into him, burning him.

‘Your fucking mouth.’ He breathed, voice tight and hoarse and gutter-low. ‘You’re so fucking hot-’

Seth was so hard, his stomach was heaving as he breathed, abs clenching and flexing. Dean pressed him back against the opposite wall, slow, resolute, shutting him up with a kiss that was almost painful.

They let the water drench them, Seth’s hair hanging loose around his face, rivulets running between their mouths. Seth was grinding into him, their cocks sliding, slick from Dean’s spit.

Dean wanted to keep his promise of making Seth feel good, he wanted to make him come and forget everything else in his head. So he fitted his hand around both of their cocks and started stroking, jutting his hips and pressing his face breathlessly into Seth’s neck.

‘Oh my _god_ ,’ Seth’s voice was cracked, a wrecked version of itself. His hands found Dean’s shoulders and he latched on; head tilted back against the wall. Dean was trying so hard not to come first that his teeth gritted together and his toes curled, but Seth looked impossibly good, soaked and needy and gasping in the steamy half-light. He flicked and twisted his wrist and Seth faltered with a short sharp exhale, the sound of a man about to lose himself, and Dean thought he’d never heard such a perfect thing in his life-

‘Dean,’

‘Mmhmm?’

‘You – I’m – _fuck_ -’ Seth’s blunt nails raked his skin, would leave little half-moon marks for days. Dean hissed a breath against the sting of it, pushed away the hot tension it sent sweeping through his spine right to his dick.

‘I want you to come, I want to make you feel good.’

‘Dean,’

It was kind of incredible that Seth had lost the ability to say much more than Dean’s name, and he said it over and over, like it was fighting its way out of his chest, like it was the only thing he knew. Dean hardened his grip, heard a gasp come out of his own mouth and fought the taught pressure gripping his body, like a tide through his muscles. He wanted to come so badly, wanted to lose it and vanish for a few sweet seconds into nothing, and when he opened his eyes Seth would still be there, his gaze dark and fervent and fucked -

He jerked them both steadily, finding the rhythm that made Seth struggle to speak at all. Seth’s head pushed right back against the wall, mouth loose. His eyes were closed, a small line between his brows that got deeper as his breathing got harder. His whole body started to tense up, the vein in his neck was thudding, the tendons were straining tight like cords under Dean’s mouth. Dean felt Seth stop breathing; he dug his fingers into Dean’s skin and then he came all over Dean’s hand and his dick with a whispered moan and quick, shuddering thrusts of his hips.

‘Oh _fuck_ , Dean-’

And then Dean was gone, he came in a flurry of sensation that hit him like a truck, made his knees weak and his teeth sink into Seth’s shoulder. He growled right down in his chest as he did it, stroking them both until it was finished.

‘Jesus fucking Christ. You are…’ Seth kissed him softly, unsteady and still coming down. ‘…I don’t even know.’

Dean laughed, or tried, but it sounded like a worn-out gasp for air. Maybe it was. He let some space come between them with a staggered step back, let the shower rinse his hands and stomach and thighs clean. Seth got his face under the jets and washed out his mouth, rung out his hair and rubbed his face like he was trying to get a hold of himself and absolutely failing. Even in the near dark Dean could see he was smiling.

Dean stepped out and wrapped a towel tight around his hips, watched water drip onto the floor in little puddles, and leant weakly against the bathroom counter, thighs resting on the cold tiles. He wanted to turn on the light, he wanted to look at Seth and see his face and kiss him some more.

But that wasn’t meant for them, and they didn’t have long left before they had to revert back to being almost-friends again. Something tore at Dean’s chest to think about it that way. The water shut off behind him and the room got quiet.

Seth’s hands at his waist. Warm and wet. Dean stilled and looked into the mirror. They were nothing but a dark dewy shape in the gloom, and Dean wondered if he could handle anything more. Probably not.

‘Thank you.’ Seth said, his beard rough near the top of Dean’s spine, lips brushing the nape of his neck, too tender. ‘You’re amazing.’

Dean had to swallow before he could speak, and even then, he barely knew what to say. ‘Nah. It’s…all you.’

Seth pressed his mouth to Dean’s skin. ‘I wish I could stay.’

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his fists, then released them again like he hadn’t meant to. He didn’t want it to be over. ‘It’s okay. It’s late.’ He forced himself to say it, though it felt like the admission of something stupid and awkward and painful.

‘Yeah.’

Seth kissed his shoulder blade and it was very nearly too much. Dean could have turned and pulled him in between his legs and told him to just fucking _stay_ the night, just once, that they could do more than get off in that hurried, desperate _I missed you_ kind of way -

Then Seth was gone, leaving the room suddenly so empty it was like he was never there.

Dean didn’t want to watch him getting dressed or checking for marks on his throat or making sure he didn’t smell like Dean’s cologne, so he stayed in the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water and waited until he heard the bedroom door close with a gentle click.

At least he had the minibar to see him through until morning.


End file.
